the church

When I lay down to sleep is when random thoughts pop in my head.  The reason for this, I'm guessing, is that I actually have time to think about other things besides work.  A few nights ago a thought popped in my head about the Church.  Some of my greatest joys but greatest disappointments have come from the Church.  The church is where I have been nurtured in the faith for many years.  It has provided me great examples of what a Disciple of Christ is to be.  I have formed many great and lasting relationships through the Church.

On the other side, the Church has afforded me many disappointments.  Throughout my life I have seen many people hurt by those claiming to be Christians.  In my home church, I saw how selfishness and backstabbing divided the Body of Believers.  Those that made up this body were divided on how the church should have been operated.  It seemed that everyone wanted what they wanted but no one was willing to sacrifice or compromise.  

In the church were I last served as youth minister, I experienced how people were willing to do anything to implement their own agenda.  One particular example was how the SS director wanted to replace one youth SS teacher with a "better" one.  This included polling the youth to see who they wanted for a teacher.  The intention was to get rid of the current SS teacher because the youth did not care for her as a teacher.  Instead of being honest with this teacher, the SS director did not tell her or her two teenage daughters about the polling process.  These three people were left hurt.  Fortunately , they did not leave the church.  I was dissapointed at how Christians could be so underhanded and sneaky.  

The church where I currently serve has its own set of issues.  It is deeply divided and the sting of conflict is felt by the majority of the Body.  Many people have been deeply wounded by these last series of events of this church.  Once again, I am throughly disappointed by those claiming to be Christians. 

Sneakiness, lying, backstabbing, fighting, gossiping, and just plain meanness should not be found in the church.  These are found in the world, but there is no excuse for these to be found in the church.  I know the church is made up of imperfect people and conflict will happen.  However, in my 24 years, I have seen many people broken hearted and disgusted because they have been hurt in churches.  It saddens me that this has happened over the years.  I know that not every church is like what I have described above, but many churches are.

I am disappointed because I know that we, as Christians, can be better.  We don't have to be sneaky or underhanded.  We can handle situations differently.  Some days, I wonder why I was called to serve in the church--I wonder if I have completely lost my mind...

I have met some wonderful people in the churches I have described.  They have been such an encouragement to me...They give me hope that the Church can be different.  Maybe one day the disappointments will cease to exists.